I messed up. I owe you an explanation.
It is clear from the feedback over the past two months that many of my creditors feel I lack respect and humility in the way I announced the separation between “Necessities” and “Luxuries” and my change to paying “Luxuries” creditors in Swiss Francs instead of U.S. Dollars. It was certainly not my intent to cause confusion and I offer my sincere apology. Let me explain what I am doing.
For the past five years, my greatest fear as a consumer is that I wouldn’t successfully make the leap from buying primarily “Necessities” to buying “Luxuries.” Most consumers who are focus primarily on paying their heating, water and electricity bills never become truly excellent at buying designer shoes, imported cured meats or fur-lined gloves. So I decided to solve this paying all of my “Luxury” bills in Swiss Francs. Of course many of you have noted that the Swiss Franc is worth less than the US Dollar and by paying you the same number of Swiss Francs that I was previously paying you of US Dollars I am effectively paying you less. I wouldn’t have changed that but letting you in a clearer manner would have been the right thing to do.
So here is what I am doing and why.
Many utilities love selling gas, electricity and water to me because I pay the exact bill that they send over. That is a great option for those companies who provide things that I absolutely cannot live without.
I also love luxuries because they really make life fun. They really are very different from those unfortunate things that I have to buy every month. I really need to focus on acquiring more luxuries as the economy improves without worrying so much about “Necessities”. To do that I need to pay less for “Luxuries”.
So I realized that since buying “Luxuries” and “Necessities” are really two completely different things, with very different values for me. I need to think separately about each type of purchase.
It’s hard to write this after more than 10 years of paying bills promptly and fully, but I think it is necessary: in a few weeks, I will acquire a new legal name “Johnny Warbucks” which I will use as the name I for “Luxuries,” which I will continue to pay in Swiss Francs. I will keep the same name “John Doe” for paying “Necessities”.
“Johnny Warbucks” is still me. I still reside at the same mailing address. In fact, once I change over I’ll make it even better for “Luxuries” creditors by paying bills online as well as with checks. You will get your Swiss Francs even quicker that way. Other improvements will follow. You probably know whether you’re a “Necessity” or “Luxury” but if you start receiving Swiss Franc payments from “Johnny Warbucks” you’ll know for sure. Please be sure to update my name in your database – I’m sure this will not be too much trouble. If you are one of those companies that sells both “Necessities” and “Luxuries” (and you know who you are), you’ll find both a U.S. Dollar payment from “John Doe” and a Swiss Franc payment from “Johnny Warbucks” in your mail. I’m sure that won’t be too confusing.
Paying bills has always been a source of Joy for me. Swiss Francs come in lovely pastel colors and I’m sure you will enjoy receiving them.
I want to acknowledge you creditors for still selling to me and to apologize again to those of you who feel my actions have been unnecessary and confusing. Of course paying you more would be better than talking about it, but this is all I’m prepared to do right now.
Aka “Johnny Warbucks”